Children and Video Games

[lowdru2k]

So my oldest son’s mother and I been going back and forth on our son playing video games. He’s 8 and I don’t mind him playing a couple hours when he’s inside the house solo or when his friends are over, I didn’t mind him playing shooters (he mainly played Fortnite), and when he plays online I never let him have a mic and I make sure the chat sound is off so he can’t hear other players. He also loves to play Minecraft and racing games. We also play co-op games together or passing controller back and forth with games like Minecraft, CoD, BF, and Fortnite. Now his mother (we have joint custody) says she only wants him playing for 30 mins a day and only playing kids games no shooters. She thinks video games hurt children’s development and shooters teach kids to be violent.

Now my son is a great kid. He makes straight A’s, never gets in trouble, is smart and respectful, also plays local sports like flag football and coach pitch (baseball). He understands it’s just video games and meant to have fun not to take it seriously or copy what he sees. I don’t mind him playing as long as he keeps up his grades and everything.

So I was curious those here at Union that have children, how do you handle video games with them? Or if they’re now older how did you handle it when they were younger?

 

[Grimmy]

I have a nephew and I'm the "cool" uncle, because I have XBox, Switch, etc. His parents really only let him play when he comes over or when he's over a friends' house. My brother-in-law rather keep the games out of their house.

Obviously, I'm with you. If the kid is doing well in school and in social situations, I don't have an issue.

I never think what works for one child will work for another. I think that's the problem nowadays. People think one answer applies to everyone. I think it's up to the parent(s) to assess their situation and approach it as well as they can. Dialog between parents and child is always good. Be open about it.

 

[Kerosene31]

If video games made kids violent, we'd all be too terrified to leave the house. It is simply not true. Even if video games caused violence in 1 in 10,000 kids, we'd literally be fearful of our lives. Millions of kids play games and they fully understand that they are not real.

I don't have kids, but if I did I would let them play video games as long as the grades stayed up. I'd also mix in some exercise and physical activity and limit the marathon sessions. Even as an adult I limit myself to 1-2 hours at a time mostly.

The only thing I've seen with any validity is just looking at "Screen time" but not video games specifically. My sister in law is a PhD and has two young kids and they monitor their time spent staring at tablets and TV screens. I'm not well read on the subject but I know she is. Even then I think it goes too far.

You can see the same thing for adults - you could just spend every waking moment of your life reading about studies saying do this and don't do that, and then more studies that contradict the other ones. With kids it just gets way worse. You end up with anti-vaxxers who read a lie enough times to where they think it is true.

The WSJ just had a great article on how parents are so hyper-protective of their kids that they harm their development. Kids get in the real world and simply can't function. I work in higher ed and I see it all the time - 20-something "kids" who are on the phone to mommy or daddy the minute they are forced to make a decision. At some point, you do more harm than good. You have to teach your kid how to cross the street, otherwise you put them in danger.

On my campus they had to make a strict no right turn on red light rules and put up barriers outside of doors right near the street. Why? These kids throw on their headphones and walk right into traffic. They expect traffic to stop for them, because that's all they've ever known.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-overprotected-american-child-1527865038

 

[Frozpot]

So my oldest son’s mother and I been going back and forth on our son playing video games. He’s 8 and I don’t mind him playing a couple hours when he’s inside the house solo or when his friends are over, I didn’t mind him playing shooters (he mainly played Fortnite), and when he plays online I never let him have a mic and I make sure the chat sound is off so he can’t hear other players. He also loves to play Minecraft and racing games. We also play co-op games together or passing controller back and forth with games like Minecraft, CoD, BF, and Fortnite. Now his mother (we have joint custody) says she only wants him playing for 30 mins a day and only playing kids games no shooters. She thinks video games hurt children’s development and shooters teach kids to be violent.

Now my son is a great kid. He makes straight A’s, never gets in trouble, is smart and respectful, also plays local sports like flag football and coach pitch (baseball). He understands it’s just video games and meant to have fun not to take it seriously or copy what he sees. I don’t mind him playing as long as he keeps up his grades and everything.

So I was curious those here at Union that have children, how do you handle video games with them? Or if they’re now older how did you handle it when they were younger?

Mine are very similar, though the general rule is one hour on weekdays. We slip on this a lot though, and it's easy for them to get addicted and not want to do anything else. My son (10) more than my daughter ( 8 ).

Both are good kids and do well in school.

 

[The Wolf King]

Nothing to worry about with violent games. Some people are just violent and it's down to them and no one else

 

[Swede]

Now his mother (we have joint custody) says she only wants him playing for 30 mins a day and only playing kids games no shooters. She thinks video games hurt children’s development and shooters teach kids to be violent.

I'm assuming most here got to play whenever they wanted to growing up, and there certainly was outcries back then too (MK, soldier of fortune etc). We came out fine, right.... right?

 

[Swede]

Also, in my world, if it isn't a problem, it isn't a problem, don't make it a problem or it'll be a problem.

 

[Videodrome]

I'm assuming most here got to play whenever they wanted to growing up, and there certainly was outcries back then too (MK, soldier of fortune etc). We came out fine, right.... right?

The only difference I could see between then and now is being online. When I was a kid, I only played a limited amount of Quake online.

It's not that I think online leads to violence, but learning really terrible sportsmanship behavior. Then again to be fair, real life school sports can do the same if handled poorly with bad coaches or parents.

 

[Frozpot]

It's not so much about violent games, but so much playing that they don't develop skills or actual physical interaction. I make my kids do other things. There is a danger there.