I'm so afraid to tell you this but, uh, I think she's a...

Smurfboy

Smurfboy

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Sep 11, 2013
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Well, my dear-union-brothers, I hate to admit it but it appears that my wife is starting to become a.... hoarder? You see, she is hardly clean her bedroom and the clothes are all over places. She even buy things that I, personal, don't think she needs it. Sometimes she is even having a hard time let go some of things that has not been used for quite a while (EVEN with foods!). Sometime she even leave some of drinks (like soda or something) in the bedroom, which I hate the most mainly because of bugs.

When I confront her about the issue, she gets upset or usually say things like "Well, I'm tired and I will do this later" when she doesn't do that for a long period of time. I remember one time, when she was watching one of the show called "Hoarder" or something like that, she started to freak out and say "I have to clean! I have to clean this! I hope it doesn't happen to me!" That's when I was puzzled about that and that was the first sign I've noticed about her behavior. Well, about a year later or so, it started to show that she is starting to become like the people I, partly, saw on television and it started to concern me even more.

I love my wife and I would hate for her to become a hoarder or something. I HOPE she's not like one of those crazy people that got clothes, foods, etc. all over the places at home that never pick up for more than a year or so. I'm sorry but I thought that was a nasty-looking and makes me feel uncomfortable when I saw that. That actually made my OCD getting worse and I always make sure we clean every single thing at home to make it looks nicer and smell fresh.

It looks like I will have to force her to actually clean and start pick up her clothes everyday. Generally, I am a gentle man and I don't tell people what to do but with her being like that, it looks like I have no choice. :meh: Do you know anyone that are like that? Share your thought/experience/advice!
 
How do you know she's not just sloppy, or lazy, or maybe too tired/depressed to put in the effort? I'm not being insulting, I'm really asking. Most of what you're describing could just be someone who's lazy and sloppy or else tired/depressed/lethargic -- not cleaning her bedroom, not picking up her clothes, leaving food stuff in the bedroom, etc. You also mention that she buys things that you don't think she needs, but I think most husbands would say that about their wives.

When I think of "hoarding," I think of people with stacks of junk in their house and yard -- not because they're sloppy, or tired, etc., but because they can't bear to throw the stuff away. "I might need it someday." They can't let go of it. If they try to throw some bit of useless junk away, their anxiety skyrockets. Unless she's like that, the stuff you're talking about (not cleaning, not picking things up) might be coming from a different source.

Another possibility is that your own OCD is making you over-react to the mess.

I don't know, just throwing some ideas out there.
 
Andy said:
How do you know she's not just sloppy, or lazy, or maybe too tired/depressed to put in the effort? I'm not being insulting, I'm really asking. Most of what you're describing could just be someone who's lazy and sloppy or else tired/depressed/lethargic -- not cleaning her bedroom, not picking up her clothes, leaving food stuff in the bedroom, etc. You also mention that she buys things that you don't think she needs, but I think most husbands would say that about their wives.

When I think of "hoarding," I think of people with stacks of junk in their house and yard -- not because they're sloppy, or tired, etc., but because they can't bear to throw the stuff away. "I might need it someday." They can't let go of it. If they try to throw some bit of useless junk away, their anxiety skyrockets. Unless she's like that, the stuff you're talking about (not cleaning, not picking things up) might be coming from a different source.

Another possibility is that your own OCD is making you over-react to the mess.

I don't know, just throwing some ideas out there.
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Historically-speaking, she does have depression issue. It is completely understandable that it may be that a person is too tired to clean or pick things up when needed to, however, with my wife, it has been like this for quite a while. I'm tired too and I work 40 hours a week. However, I clearly understood, as a parent, that the house has to be clean/keep fresh. Or else, the mold, the diseases/germs (whatever it may be) be speadin' all over the place and I do not want to see that at all. We all know it's very unhealthy situation to live in (especially for kids).

As for hoarder, well, we all know it always starts something small and then, eventually, it will get worse as the time goes by. This is something I'm afraid it might happen to my wife. I mean you should have seen her clothes and her own bathroom (and even in her car as well). It's actually filthy and unclean that'll make you go, "Okay, obviously it needs to be clean!" You have no idea how many of "stuffs" she has on her own table (like 7 different shampoos, 8 different lotions, etc.) and on the side of her bedroom. The items are, literally, everywhere. I do not mean to hurt her feeling or whatever, however she has to understand that it must be clean and, most important of all, to be healthy about keeping the home clean.

My OCD is not quite as high as you make it out to be. It's just that I am tired of seeing my home being a mess everyday and, every time I look at it, it makes me goes, "Ugh, it needs to be clean," "that has to go," "It has been sitting there for three days, can't someone pick it up and put away? I work all day and was expecting you to clean it up while at home" stuff like that. Not only at home but people do make a mess at my work too. You may not be aware of this or not but people that make a mess at work does effect our VCP (bonus money). So yeah, this is why it's very important to keep the environment clean at all time. But still, at home, though. I do admit that I make a mess myself but not THAT mess compare to my wife.
 
Embrace the mess? It'll probably just be easier that way.
 
Smurfboy said:
Historically-speaking, she does have depression issue. It is completely understandable that it may be that a person is too tired to clean or pick things up when needed to, however, with my wife, it has been like this for quite a while. I'm tired too and I work 40 hours a week.
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Does she work?

Do you have kids in the house?

As for hoarder, well, we all know it always starts something small and then, eventually, it will get worse as the time goes by. This is something I'm afraid it might happen to my wife. I mean you should have seen her clothes and her own bathroom (and even in her car as well). It's actually filthy and unclean that'll make you go, "Okay, obviously it needs to be clean!" You have no idea how many of "stuffs" she has on her own table (like 7 different shampoos, 8 different lotions, etc.) and on the side of her bedroom. The items are, literally, everywhere. I do not mean to hurt her feeling or whatever, however she has to understand that it must be clean and, most important of all, to be healthy about keeping the home clean.
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Well, you could say the same thing about my car -- "Okay, obviously it needs to be cleaned," but I don't have some kind of psychological problem (not in that area, anyhow). I just don't care much how my car looks. And while 7 different shampoos is a little much, I know women who have bottles of this and that all over the place. Having lots of bottles of hair products and lotions strewn all over seems to be part of being a woman.

My OCD is not quite as high as you make it out to be.
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Hang on, Smurf, I'm not making your OCD to be anything. I just mentioned it because you did. A lot of people with OCD have very low tolerance for mess, dirty, things being out of order, etc. I have no idea if it's an issue, I'm just tossing it out there.

It's just that I am tired of seeing my home being a mess everyday and, every time I look at it, it makes me goes, "Ugh, it needs to be clean," "that has to go," "It has been sitting there for three days, can't someone pick it up and put away? I work all day and was expecting you to clean it up while at home" stuff like that. Not only at home but people do make a mess at my work too. You may not be aware of this or not but people that make a mess at work does effect our VCP (bonus money). So yeah, this is why it's very important to keep the environment clean at all time. But still, at home, though. I do admit that I make a mess myself but not THAT mess compare to my wife.
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Has she always been like this?

When you ask her about this, what is her explanation?
 
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She sounds like a wife in general. While you're dating they're fun, exciting, and generally make you feel good. They cook, clean, suck your dick....and want to bang one out regularly. THEN you get married and all that goes away. You have kids and then life becomes an inverse of what it once was. They get fat, lazy, and overall angry at everything you do. You're forced to survive on oat meal cream pies and macaroni and cheese cups. JOPO (jerk off;pass out) becomes a nightly occurance until you become a shell of the man you once were. Then you die.
 
My youngest daughter, who will be 6 on Monday, is a hoarder. God bless her young soul, she doesn't want to part with anything.
 
This thread is hilarious.

Some guys will put up with sloppy and may I add lazy broads just to keep them around. Their expectations on the opposite sex are so low it's unbelievable they can't lower their expectations any lower.

I used to be with a female who I thought was good to keep around. I guess she started to get a little too comfortable and started to get sloppy... Had to cut her off. I'm too grown to be dealing with another adult who has kid like qualities. If you are a kid and sloppy it's understandable you are still a kid.. A sloppy adult, excuses don't fly with me.. Grow up or get the eff out.

That's just me. You don't have to agree with me...
 
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Hoarders don't always progress to the extremes you see on TV. My mother is a bit of a hoarder, but every once in a while she moves house and clears everything out. It never gets to where she's climbing over junk. She's in her 60s now and hasn't gotten worse.
 
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My brother is a hoarder. No bulls***. He pays me to clean his apartment once a month. All he does is work, get drunk and plays WoW and Call of Duty Blops II on his free time. Trust me, I make his ass pay me well for the sh*t he puts his apartment through.
 
When she's gone for a day, and your home clean it all. Man my wife saves toilet paper rolls that have one freaking sheet on them. Phone books from years ago. Does anyone actually use those still? Junk mail, clothes, and toys 3 kids grow quick. All kinda of stuff. If it's sentimental lead it.
If she's real bad on particular things. Like my wife with kids clothes, and toys get rid of them little by little. I took a TRUCK LOAD no exegerration to the goodwill. The guy looked at me like I was nuts. Most the clothes still had tags, and half the toys weren't even opened. Asked if I wanted a recipt for some reason, still don't know why.She still didn't notice.
So I did that again about two months later, this time taking less. About 5 trips she finally started noticing. When I told her what I was doing she wasn't mad. Think she realized that it needed to be done.
Hope this helps.
 
Smurfboy said:
Well, my dear-union-brothers, I hate to admit it but it appears that my wife is starting to become a.... hoarder? You see, she is hardly clean her bedroom and the clothes are all over places. She even buy things that I, personal, don't think she needs it. Sometimes she is even having a hard time let go some of things that has not been used for quite a while (EVEN with foods!). Sometime she even leave some of drinks (like soda or something) in the bedroom, which I hate the most mainly because of bugs.

When I confront her about the issue, she gets upset or usually say things like "Well, I'm tired and I will do this later" when she doesn't do that for a long period of time. I remember one time, when she was watching one of the show called "Hoarder" or something like that, she started to freak out and say "I have to clean! I have to clean this! I hope it doesn't happen to me!" That's when I was puzzled about that and that was the first sign I've noticed about her behavior. Well, about a year later or so, it started to show that she is starting to become like the people I, partly, saw on television and it started to concern me even more.

I love my wife and I would hate for her to become a hoarder or something. I HOPE she's not like one of those crazy people that got clothes, foods, etc. all over the places at home that never pick up for more than a year or so. I'm sorry but I thought that was a nasty-looking and makes me feel uncomfortable when I saw that. That actually made my OCD getting worse and I always make sure we clean every single thing at home to make it looks nicer and smell fresh.

It looks like I will have to force her to actually clean and start pick up her clothes everyday. Generally, I am a gentle man and I don't tell people what to do but with her being like that, it looks like I have no choice. :meh: Do you know anyone that are like that? Share your thought/experience/advice!
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Old soda sucks, especially when there's a half of cup left, even I it's in the fridge.
 
Here's the update: She did clean couple of dishes and pick up some of the clothes off of the floor. At least, it's a start. I had to tell her to do that as soon as possible and she's doing it. She could do MUCH more on her day off work.

Here's a funny story. She brought her new friend over to our place yesterday and her friend said she is willing to fold some of my (and my son's) clothes (I was at work at the time). When I came home, I was surprised she did that and I wasn't expected it at all (I was planning to do that myself). Her new friend even saw my boxers with the pictures of the Smurfs on it. :oops::oops::oops: Nooooo!!!!!!

Anyway, that was nice her but I felt awkward and didn't know what to say, lol. Especially I never met her before.
 
Smurfboy said:
Here's the update: She did clean couple of dishes and pick up some of the clothes off of the floor. At least, it's a start. I had to tell her to do that as soon as possible and she's doing it. She could do MUCH more on her day off work.

Here's a funny story. She brought her new friend over to our place yesterday and her friend said she is willing to fold some of my (and my son's) clothes (I was at work at the time). When I came home, I was surprised she did that and I wasn't expected it at all (I was planning to do that myself). Her new friend even saw my boxers with the pictures of the Smurfs on it. :oops::oops::oops: Nooooo!!!!!!

Anyway, that was nice her but I felt awkward and didn't know what to say, lol. Especially I never met her before.
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Lay hands on her
 
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