Let's talk about sex baby. Let's talk about STD's...

Plainview

Plainview

I am a sinner.
Sep 11, 2013
47,386
25,188
4,279
Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I got and STD...

Even though we're all gamers here, I'm sure we've all had sex. Even Hedon. I was ALWAYS protective of myself. It never failed. I always made sure to take precautions. In my mid 20's, a girl I had been dating for a while, gave me herpes down below. She either lied to me by omission and didn't tell me, or she cheated on me and got it from someone else and gave it to me. I believe it was the former when I looked back at some things she said. About five years into the relationship she went on the pill and she didn't, nor did I, want to use condoms anymore. Nice job, Plainview!

When I found out, it was devastating. I couldn't believe that happened. I was so careful for over a decade. Now, I received the stigma. Since it's not curable, it's a big stigma. Since it's below the belt always, HSV-2, the stigma is worse than people that get cold sores. Girls can go down on me without fears of getting it on their lips. But, since the genitals are sex, there's a stigma attached to it.

I was a wreck for months. Lots of crying. Lots of anger. Lots of sadness. My first outbreak was painful and lasted a long time. I never went to the doctor. I couldn't face people because of the stigma of it. So, for a year and a half or so, I dealt with it. I didn't tell any friends. I just couldn't. I fell victim the stigma. Eventually I started dating again and the girl I told had it as well. It was amazing. I just couldn't believe it. The first person I tell after nearly two years of emotional pain, was in the same boat as me. The difference with her is she didn't show symptoms. Nearly 80%, 40,000,000 people, there are estimated 60,000,000-70,000,000 people with one form of herpes, don't know they have it.

I eventually broke up with that girl and I found myself an emotional wreck. It wasn't as bad as the first time, but I dreaded "the talk." Now, I wait until after a month or so to tell the girl. Sure, it's still emotional to actually tell a potential partner, but it's not as bad as it first was. There have been many relationships I'm sure I lost because I couldn't bring myself to tell the girl. While I still get nervous at rejection, it's only happened once, I am less hesitant to trust someone to tell them.

Since I caught the STD, I never took medicine. It was even difficult for me to tell the doctor. A few months back, I decided it was the time. There was this girl I really liked, she didn't have it, and while I know my body well, nothing is 100%. So, I decided it was time for some meds. Now, I'm very comfortable with it. Where I would get flareups multiple times of the year, now, I don't get any. The transmission rate with meds is around 1%. With condoms and meds it's below that. There's less stress when I meet someone if I'll be met with a stress flareup of it since it doesn't happen. I got a 10 day initial treatment, and now I take a daily maintenance. So far so good.

While I thought it was the end of the world, it really wasn't. I have years and years of research, reading, experimenting with supplements, how lifting affects it, what triggers a flareup, etc. If anybody has any questions, feel free to ask. I've seen and been through it all.

giphy.gif
 
  • Like
Reactions: The Living Tribunal, DarkPassenger, JinCA and 1 other person
So just to confirm, this is your story?
 
So during this time have you had any one night stands or hookups where you didn't tell the partner? How do you deal with something like that?

Do you date for a long period of time (a month or so) before things get physical? If so, do you find it hard to find these types of partners with the way dating works in America now?
 
tumorman said:
So during this time have you had any one night stands or hookups where you didn't tell the partner? How do you deal with something like that?

Do you date for a long period of time (a month or so) before things get physical? If so, do you find it hard to find these types of partners with the way dating works in America now?
Click to expand...
First Q: Never. Friends have said that it shouldn't bother me and I should just bang away since it's so common, studies believe one in four or one in three have one form or the other, still, I can't because I know how devastating it was to me at the time.

Second @: I wait at least a month. It's tough for this day and age with Tinder and such. Imagine going back to school and being surrounded by 18 year olds pawning over you when you're 30. THAT was a difficult time! I could have banged so many more women in my life. That's probably the biggest negative. If told one and she was, ewwwwww, it would be all over school. So, I dated other 30 somethings in school. There were a lot of women who I dated for about a month and decided to end it because I didn't feel comfortable telling them. I try to stay away from sex-flirt talking during that time unless I really like the girl.
 
  • Like
Reactions: JinCA
Well, I can tell you that I met this one chick when I was like 22. I really liked her. Spent time with her. Then one time we were at her house, and I guess she figured our relationship was at a point where sex was the next step. She shared with me that she has herpes, explained the ins and outs. Unfortunately, I was naive and all I could hear was "herpes". I didn't talk to her again after that day (we just laid side by side in bed that night). Hate me, I know.

As I got older and learned more (considering stories like yours), I wish I would have not bailed on her. I would go back and do it all over. I am THAT person that rejected you, and I apologize for having been that kind of person before.

I just assumed you were married with children actually.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Plainview
Plainview said:
First Q: Never. Friends have said that it shouldn't bother me and I should just bang away since it's so common, studies believe one in four or one in three have one form or the other, still, I can't because I know how devastating it was to me at the time.
Click to expand...
Yeah I always heard that too. Always got checked after something would happen in my single days, you just never know. Good on you for waiting too, I'm sure that's not an easy thing to do.

Also, if you don't mind me asking, how do you date someone for five years before BC and you don't notice something like that? Or have a discussion about it?
 
tumorman said:
Yeah I always heard that too. Always got checked after something would happen in my single days, you just never know. Good on you for waiting too, I'm sure that's not an easy thing to do.

Also, if you don't mind me asking, how do you date someone for five years before BC and you don't notice something like that? Or have a discussion about it?
Click to expand...
I got it from her after about five years. I remember feeling funny down there but there was no flare up or anything. I just thought from her stubble. Then, when we broke up, about eight months after, I had the first big outbreak. I never told her. I couldn't tell her. I figured she would blame me. I was ALWAYS faithful to every GF. So, I never told her. She doesn't know how messed up she made my life years ago.
 
  • Love
  • Sad
Reactions: tumorman and Kvally
Hedon said:
Well, I can tell you that I met this one chick when I was like 22. I really liked her. Spent time with her. Then one time we were at her house, and I guess she figured our relationship was at a point where sex was the next step. She shared with me that she has herpes, explained the ins and outs. Unfortunately, I was naive and all I could hear was "herpes". I didn't talk to her again after that day (we just laid side by side in bed that night). Hate me, I know.

As I got older and learned more (considering stories like yours), I wish I would have not bailed on her. I would go back and do it all over. I am THAT person that rejected you, and I apologize for having been that kind of person before.

I just assumed you were married with children actually.
Click to expand...
I'm not sure how I would have reacted when I was 22 and someone told me that. I wouldn't have ran, but I probably couldn't have been in a relationship. I would never have abandoned. Also, there was really no Valtrex when I was 22, or I don't think so. If there was, with how effective it is, I would have considered it. I was DJing at the time I was 22 and there were girls everywhere. But, I decided to stay with one girl during that time and it ended up being the worse choice! Doh!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kvally
Plainview said:
I'm not sure how I would have reacted when I was 22 and someone told me that. I wouldn't have ran, but I probably couldn't have been in a relationship. I would never have abandoned. Also, there was really no Valtrex when I was 22, or I don't think so. If there was, with how effective it is, I would have considered it. I was DJing at the time I was 22 and there were girls everywhere. But, I decided to stay with one girl during that time and it ended up being the worse choice! Doh!
Click to expand...
Well, I am not trying to be a comedian here, but IMO, announcing that you have any sort of medical condition seems to be the way to go now and is much more accepted now than ever. By a long margin. Sure, there are still those that are mindless twats, but seriously. Today it seems like "oh, I have A, B, C" and nobody is quite "surprised" and seems more acceptable.

That is my "perception" from the outside looking in. You clearly have a better perception that I would. Personally, I think it's really cool that you even made this subject here and that you feel you can share that with us. You my friend have a lifetime membership to Man Card and it can NEVER be revoked. Well, unless you close the boobs thread.
 
Plainview said:
I'm not sure how I would have reacted when I was 22 and someone told me that. I wouldn't have ran, but I probably couldn't have been in a relationship. I would never have abandoned. Also, there was really no Valtrex when I was 22, or I don't think so. If there was, with how effective it is, I would have considered it. I was DJing at the time I was 22 and there were girls everywhere. But, I decided to stay with one girl during that time and it ended up being the worse choice! Doh!
Click to expand...
Could be worse, could have gotten super aids or even worse, mega gonohepetaids.


Also, even at 30 I don't know if I could handle that sort of relationship. I think I'd have to back out, as selfish as that is :/
 
Hedon said:
Well, I am not trying to be a comedian here, but IMO, announcing that you have any sort of medical condition seems to be the way to go now and is much more accepted now than ever. By a long margin. Sure, there are still those that are mindless twats, but seriously. Today it seems like "oh, I have A, B, C" and nobody is quite "surprised" and seems more acceptable.

That is my "perception" from the outside looking in. You clearly have a better perception that I would. Personally, I think it's really cool that you even made this subject here and that you feel you can share that with us. You my friend have a lifetime membership to Man Card and it can NEVER be revoked. Well, unless you close the boobs thread.
Click to expand...
giphy.gif
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Kvally
tumorman said:
Could be worse, could have gotten super aids or even worse, mega gonohepetaids.


Also, even at 30 I don't know if I could handle that sort of relationship. I think I'd have to back out, as selfish as that is :/
Click to expand...
It may have saved me from HIV, but I was always protected. Not oral of course, so the possibility was there. It may have also kept me from marrying a wrong woman and having a kid. Then again, it could have prevented me from marrying the right woman.
 
What is funny, the VERY first person I told, it was what was my next GF, I was playing Xbox Live. I was talking to her on the phone with a plug in earpiece while my Xbox friends and I were playing CoD 2 I believe.
 
  • Wow
  • Like
Reactions: JinCA and Kvally
Plainview said:
It may have saved me from HIV, but I was always protected. Not oral of course, so the possibility was there. It may have also kept me from marrying a wrong woman and having a kid. Then again, it could have prevented me from marrying the right woman.
Click to expand...
Any interest in having children?
 
Hedon said:
Any interest in having children?
Click to expand...
Yes and no. If it happens with the right woman. If she can't have kids for whatever reason, and we want kids, either get a surrogate or adopt. I always wanted my bloodline to continue. I'll be the last boy from my family. No more boys with my last name. I've been thinking about it recently, so what? Adopting a child and raising it means just as much.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Kvally
Plainview said:
Yes and no. If it happens with the right woman. If she can't have kids for whatever reason, and we want kids, either get a surrogate or adopt. I always wanted my bloodline to continue. I'll be the last boy from my family. No more boys with my last name. I've been thinking about it recently, so what? Adopting a child and raising it means just as much.
Click to expand...
I am glad I had my son, even though my marriage ended after 20 years. My wife I have now is amazing, but she can't have children (her parts were removed many years ago due to complications). We talked about adopting, but not in any great depth. Being 48 now, I am not sure I want to go that direction (we are on the same page). But adopting would be a great option if we chose to do so. One of my best friends is adopted. Him and his wife couldn't have children, and so they too adopted. It's a win win for the children and you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Plainview
Oh, and if you want children and are willing to adopt, no reason to wait for a woman. Adopt as a single man too.
 
VaLLiancE said:
Happened to one of my friends with the 1st piece he got.
Click to expand...

I have a buddy who got HIV with the first person he was with too, s*** can happen to anyone. Sadly for him he was in the military at the time and wanted to make it a career but that ended that. Even worse when he confronted his bf about it the guy told him "you must have gotten it from someone else" and broke it off, even though he had never been with anyone else.
 
  • Angry
Reactions: Plainview
Plainview said:
Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I got and STD...

Even though we're all gamers here, I'm sure we've all had sex. Even Hedon. I was ALWAYS protective of myself. It never failed. I always made sure to take precautions. In my mid 20's, a girl I had been dating for a while, gave me herpes down below. She either lied to me by omission and didn't tell me, or she cheated on me and got it from someone else and gave it to me. I believe it was the former when I looked back at some things she said. About five years into the relationship she went on the pill and she didn't, nor did I, want to use condoms anymore. Nice job, Plainview!

When I found out, it was devastating. I couldn't believe that happened. I was so careful for over a decade. Now, I received the stigma. Since it's not curable, it's a big stigma. Since it's below the belt always, HSV-2, the stigma is worse than people that get cold sores. Girls can go down on me without fears of getting it on their lips. But, since the genitals are sex, there's a stigma attached to it.

I was a wreck for months. Lots of crying. Lots of anger. Lots of sadness. My first outbreak was painful and lasted a long time. I never went to the doctor. I couldn't face people because of the stigma of it. So, for a year and a half or so, I dealt with it. I didn't tell any friends. I just couldn't. I fell victim the stigma. Eventually I started dating again and the girl I told had it as well. It was amazing. I just couldn't believe it. The first person I tell after nearly two years of emotional pain, was in the same boat as me. The difference with her is she didn't show symptoms. Nearly 80%, 40,000,000 people, there are estimated 60,000,000-70,000,000 people with one form of herpes, don't know they have it.

I eventually broke up with that girl and I found myself an emotional wreck. It wasn't as bad as the first time, but I dreaded "the talk." Now, I wait until after a month or so to tell the girl. Sure, it's still emotional to actually tell a potential partner, but it's not as bad as it first was. There have been many relationships I'm sure I lost because I couldn't bring myself to tell the girl. While I still get nervous at rejection, it's only happened once, I am less hesitant to trust someone to tell them.

Since I caught the STD, I never took medicine. It was even difficult for me to tell the doctor. A few months back, I decided it was the time. There was this girl I really liked, she didn't have it, and while I know my body well, nothing is 100%. So, I decided it was time for some meds. Now, I'm very comfortable with it. Where I would get flareups multiple times of the year, now, I don't get any. The transmission rate with meds is around 1%. With condoms and meds it's below that. There's less stress when I meet someone if I'll be met with a stress flareup of it since it doesn't happen. I got a 10 day initial treatment, and now I take a daily maintenance. So far so good.

While I thought it was the end of the world, it really wasn't. I have years and years of research, reading, experimenting with supplements, how lifting affects it, what triggers a flareup, etc. If anybody has any questions, feel free to ask. I've seen and been through it all.

giphy.gif
Click to expand...

Good on you for being honest about it and not trying to just get what you can and not tell your partners about it, that would be a crappy thing to do, thankfully you are a good guy and care enough about others to not want to put them through what you went through. I'm glad you started taking the medication! it's the best thing for you and any potential partners you may have, at least you can feel like you can live your life again.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Plainview
Hedon said:
Well, I can tell you that I met this one chick when I was like 22. I really liked her. Spent time with her. Then one time we were at her house, and I guess she figured our relationship was at a point where sex was the next step. She shared with me that she has herpes, explained the ins and outs. Unfortunately, I was naive and all I could hear was "herpes". I didn't talk to her again after that day (we just laid side by side in bed that night). Hate me, I know.

As I got older and learned more (considering stories like yours), I wish I would have not bailed on her. I would go back and do it all over. I am THAT person that rejected you, and I apologize for having been that kind of person before.

I just assumed you were married with children actually.
Click to expand...

Are you a virgin?
 
Well, I'll say that I have Oral Herpes. I've had it since...2002. I get canker sores on my tongue and mouth internally. It sucks.

Don't get any damn ideas! lol. I am very straight!
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
Reactions: Plainview
DarkPassenger said:
Well, I'll say that I have Oral Herpes. I've had it since...2002. I get canker sores on my tongue and mouth internally. It sucks.

Don't get any damn ideas! lol. I am very straight!
Click to expand...
I get canker sores. No cold sores for me. If I bite my cheek that starts a firestorm of canker sores. Cank X works great.
 
Plainview said:
I get canker sores. No cold sores for me. If I bite my cheek that starts a firestorm of canker sores. Cank X works great.
Click to expand...

I know the feeling. I could bite my left cheek and get canker sores on my right cheek. I get ruthless though. I put salt on them. Painful, but it heals quicker for me.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Plainview
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back