The Life Advice thread

Lucid Rifter

VR Master Race
Cornerstone Member
Sep 11, 2013
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Got a big decision to make and need some advice from experienced people? Unhappy with where you're at in life? Look no further! The Life Advice thread will bring the unioners together and figure out this crazy thing called life.

I'll start!

OK, so I like my job and the people I work with. I know I could get paid at least 20% more going somewhere else. I constantly get offers from companies for interviews etc. I'm in software development. I have a wife and son so relocating isn't a real possibility. My commute is about 40 minutes on average so it'd be nice to have something closer to home. I've been with the company for 4 years now. I'd like to get more into a manager's role but it's a rat race for those positions where I'm at and I don't necessarily have the manager experience.

You think I should look elsewhere and take more money for the unknown or stay where I'm at for a while and see what happens there?
 
There's never a right answer to this question, but I've worked in IT a long time and here's some general things I try to follow:

-Look at everything with a job. Money, stress rate, commute, cost of living. Money isn't everything. Of course it factors in, but it isn't the only thing. What you don't want is to make 20% more at a job, and find out that you'll work 50% more unpaid OT. The last thing you want to do is end up working for Lumberg from Office Space.

-Going on interviews is usually a good idea unless there's lots of travel involved. Nothing wrong with interviewing and turning them down. The problem is it is hard to get a gauge for a company's culture. Do as much research as you can, there's online sites now where you can rate employers.

-Moving from coder to manager is always tough in companies and they all do it differently. Some places will never promote their top coders, because they don't want to lose them as coders. Lots of times, they'll promote the hack.

Personally, I have typically stayed with the lower stress/better work environment. I've worked for people who are awesome and I've worked for people I wanted to literally strangle. Of course, in IT everything is so fluid so today's great job can be tomorrow's nightmare.
 
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Got a big decision to make and need some advice from experienced people? Unhappy with where you're at in life? Look no further! The Life Advice thread will bring the unioners together and figure out this crazy thing called life.

I'll start!

OK, so I like my job and the people I work with. I know I could get paid at least 20% more going somewhere else. I constantly get offers from companies for interviews etc. I'm in software development. I have a wife and son so relocating isn't a real possibility. My commute is about 40 minutes on average so it'd be nice to have something closer to home. I've been with the company for 4 years now. I'd like to get more into a manager's role but it's a rat race for those positions where I'm at and I don't necessarily have the manager experience.

You think I should look elsewhere and take more money for the unknown or stay where I'm at for a while and see what happens there?

Depends on what matters to you. I've been at the same place 11 years now. I wear shorts and t-shirts to work most days, unless we have visitors. There's fruit in the main break room, they occasionally cater lunches, and it's a great place. I also have a long commute, but all in all I'm happy where I'm at - I'm working on interesting things, without constant micromanagement, and I like the comfort.
 
-Moving from coder to manager is always tough in companies and they all do it differently. Some places will never promote their top coders, because they don't want to lose them as coders. Lots of times, they'll promote the hack.

I wouldn't consider myself a top coder. I kind of float between dev and QA work. So I'll do some more simple coding cards to help out with throughput but I've been doing more QA work as of late because there's been a lot of crap going through that shouldn't. So now I kind of am the the field general for all cards going through SDLC. I still code for automation testing but I'm not a "go to" person when it comes to architecture.

That's kind of why I want to get into management. Not sure if it's dev or project/product management yet. I just kind of know how my company operates in vacuum though, maybe it would be beneficial to take other companies up for at least an interview and ask those kinds of questions.
 
Depends on what matters to you. I've been at the same place 11 years now. I wear shorts and t-shirts to work most days, unless we have visitors. There's fruit in the main break room, they occasionally cater lunches, and it's a great place. I also have a long commute, but all in all I'm happy where I'm at - I'm working on interesting things, without constant micromanagement, and I like the comfort.

Yeah we have a casual dress code, pool table, indoor basketball court, indoor gym with showers, our own restaurant with cheap and good food. It's cushy don't get me wrong. I'm in the Cleveland area (low cost of living) and make ~50k (started at 35k 4 years ago). My company is known for paying young people low money for college graduates to just do what the senior devs tell them to do then move on and make lots more money elsewhere.

I guess I just don't feel satisfied with how much I impact the product in the end. So it isn't just about money. It's like I'm doing a lot of the grunt work and someone else is taking credit for making decisions on what I told them. I like my manager though and the people I work with.
 
I guess I just don't feel satisfied with how much I impact the product in the end. So it isn't just about money. It's like I'm doing a lot of the grunt work and someone else is taking credit for making decisions on what I told them. I like my manager though and the people I work with.

Welcome to the industry :)

As someone who's been in the industry almost 20 years, that's pretty normal. I try not to do it, but I know I am always slow to accept the younger guys. There's so much turnover in the entry level positions, that I don't bother even learning names unless you've been there a year or more. I'm not even joking, we hire kids out of college 2-3 at a time and I can't remember their names. Half of them will be gone anyway.

I still get more blame than credit sometimes, that's common too. I have one boss (I have several, the movie Office Space is a documentary) who will take all the credit, but completely ignores my warnings of something bad. I pointed out a major potential flaw in a product he rolled out and he brushed me off. Well a few months later and it blows up. My hope is that he gets promoted higher up to be out of my hair.
 
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Start your own company, be your own boss!
I worked for the man for 17 years and then quit and started my own company.
Sure, I don't make the money I used to, but my stress level is almost zero
 
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To me if you really think you are at a dead end and are underpaid, make a move. Be selective and try to make a change directly into a managerial position if possible.
 
Yeah we have a casual dress code, pool table, indoor basketball court, indoor gym with showers, our own restaurant with cheap and good food. It's cushy don't get me wrong. I'm in the Cleveland area (low cost of living) and make ~50k (started at 35k 4 years ago). My company is known for paying young people low money for college graduates to just do what the senior devs tell them to do then move on and make lots more money elsewhere.

I guess I just don't feel satisfied with how much I impact the product in the end. So it isn't just about money. It's like I'm doing a lot of the grunt work and someone else is taking credit for making decisions on what I told them. I like my manager though and the people I work with.

Yeah, that's definitely less appealing. I work for a small company and while there are different departments that all have different needs and often that can pull on us, our development team has a lot of freedom to get the job done, and we pretty much all have our own areas that we individually own. It can sometimes be stressful when something happens in your area and suddenly a key feature isn't working, but likewise when something is going well it's known who worked on it.
 
How does someone get a cushy tech job coding like this? Do you need an expensive degree or can you be self taught and work on a strong Github portfolio or go to a 'Coding Bootcamp'?

Is there realistically an age factor? I'm almost 42. From what I read, I think I'm unlikely to get hired in an entry level position when it sounds those are filled by young college grads willing to work weird hours for low pay.

Basically, I'm a techy guy working in a redneck industry. To get a job in The Recession, I went to truck driving school for my Class A CDL. I saw much of the U.S. and Canada driving an 18 Wheeler, but now I'm quite sick of it. I feel stuck because this is now the main marketable skill I have with experience that pays decently, but all the time I feel like I have a technical aptitude being wasted as well as a 2 year degree in computer security. Also, this job is boring AF.
 
I'm guessing a lot of places unfortunately are just going to throw the 4 year degree out there. I hate to say it, but people who hire tend to do anything to thin the pool out, even if it is arbitrary. That said, you can always show up for an interview not meeting the requirements.

I was lucky with a 4 year degree, but even then my first job was answering help desk phones. Then I started going around fixing basic problems. Before long I was basically sysadmin/programmer/help desk and whatever else plugged in the wall. Granted, this was the 90s and if you could bang on the keyboard like a geek, you got hired.

I've never even really been a full time programmer. I've written a lot of code along the way, but I'm not a coder all day every day. Most of my job is really just making everything work from the person at a keyboard back to the servers, infrastructure, etc.

Have you looked into smaller, local type consulting companies? You absolutely can get a job doing this without a degree, but you're probably going to have to work your way up which might be tough at this age.

The biggest need I see in IT is that there are tons of small to mid-sized companies that aren't big enough to hire any IT staff themselves, so they contract everything out to 3rd party companies. These consulting places are always looking for good people, the problem is there might not be a lot of straight up coding jobs. What I do now is really more analysis and just making crap work. With the explosion of cloud based services, there's all sorts of companies who go buy "cloud product X" that some salesmen told them would be plug and play, and then they find out that they need someone still to make sure it really works in a real environment.

Hope my ramblings make a tiny bit of sense and help. Best of luck.
 
As for consulting companies, I've been in small town job markets so I doubt something like that is around here.

Main thing though is for a while I thought Coders were in such demand that if a person could show a strong portfolio they could get hired. That may be still true in some hot markets, but I'm having doubts about it here for myself in the Midwest with the possible except of Chicago, but I don't live there.

Oh well, maybe I can continue to dabble in it or a side project could come out of it instead of working for a firm.


In the meantime, if I'm stuck making a living with truck driving, I want to move south because I'm sick of the damn snow.
 
Awkward. I see a job listing for IT Programmer for my Truck Driving company. Most of my skills have just gone stale while I drive though. They want:

SQL
VB.NET
Basic Experience with IIS Server
Web Development using ASP.NET, HTML JAVA (not sure if they mean Javascript?)
Basic Networking Experience


I have done course work with C#, but I don't really understand how .NET applies to the Web.

Hard to say what they really need SQL for. I might be able to Query the Database for info, but I don't know if I could go through designing and creating one.

As for VB.Net maybe that's to slap together very crude Desktop Apps? Maybe crap Apps used to track and order parts for the Garage?



I might inquire about it even though I think it's an absurd long shot since I don't have a strong portfolio or resume. I don't know if I can sorta kinda try to be like an intern / apprentice since my qualifications are weak and I'm so out of practice.
 
Definitely apply. That's the same job posting all over. Sometimes the person posting the job knows little about IT other than some buzzwords. We need a programmer but really aren't sure what tools you'll need. The SQL non-database people need is really minimal. We're never writing complex queries for systems because you'll crush the database.

We hire people knowing there's a learning curve getting them up to speed on the tools we use. We do PeopleSoft which is an Oracle product which you never actually find people with experience (you'd never learn it until someone forced you to). We just assume it will take a month or two of training just to get them doing anything.

I do very little in the MS world now, but I remember when I did it was always simple to pick up. Just google anything .net and you'll find tons of stuff. IT is always about learning new skills.

My guess is they have a ton of homegrown VB client/server apps that they know they need ported to the web (as everyone now works on a tablet or laptop at best).
 
Short Version: Trucking is a crazy job. College is bullsh;t. Can a person build up a side hussle for new income or just invest?

I was thinking of my life situation and how I feel like I'm stuck in Truck Driving. I tried going to college but for various dumb reasons that didn't workout. I have a 2 year degree in Cybersecurity which in hindsight seems like a bad major for a beginner. It's weird, I'm a major computer geek in a redneck job.

I did improve my situation my moving and doing Southeast Regional, so at least if I have to do this I don't have to deal with the snow which is a major pain and can be dangerous.

I recently managed to get a home daily job, but the hours are messed up. Somedays, I deliver at noon, sometimes 6am, and my first delivery this week is 1am Monday.

At almost 44, I'm not sure if I can start over in something else and go back to school because of ageism and I still owe almost 40k in student loans. I'm not sure I want to risk doubling that if things don't workout or if I do get hired but then have to struggle on whatever the entry level wage is.

I think one of my issues is the Mobile, AL job market is weird and I'm thinking of relocating. One strong possibility is a job in Vance, AL near Birmingham that starts at $19 per hour local. Switching to an hourly wage would be a big improvement over how I currently work 45 Cents Per Mile. This job would still be long hours at close to 60 hours a week with 12hr shifts, but I think I could handle it for now.

This is still just making the best of a dull career and I"m not sure how I'll feel about doing this in my 50s. I'm wondering if it's possible to either grow a side hussle into something just invest aggressively into Stocks or the Index Fund or something. Could a person realistically grow Dividend Stock holdings enough to live on and basically buy my way out of the work life rat race?
 
Short Version: Trucking is a crazy job. College is bullsh;t. Can a person build up a side hussle for new income or just invest?

I was thinking of my life situation and how I feel like I'm stuck in Truck Driving. I tried going to college but for various dumb reasons that didn't workout. I have a 2 year degree in Cybersecurity which in hindsight seems like a bad major for a beginner. It's weird, I'm a major computer geek in a redneck job.

I did improve my situation my moving and doing Southeast Regional, so at least if I have to do this I don't have to deal with the snow which is a major pain and can be dangerous.

I recently managed to get a home daily job, but the hours are messed up. Somedays, I deliver at noon, sometimes 6am, and my first delivery this week is 1am Monday.

At almost 44, I'm not sure if I can start over in something else and go back to school because of ageism and I still owe almost 40k in student loans. I'm not sure I want to risk doubling that if things don't workout or if I do get hired but then have to struggle on whatever the entry level wage is.

I think one of my issues is the Mobile, AL job market is weird and I'm thinking of relocating. One strong possibility is a job in Vance, AL near Birmingham that starts at $19 per hour local. Switching to an hourly wage would be a big improvement over how I currently work 45 Cents Per Mile. This job would still be long hours at close to 60 hours a week with 12hr shifts, but I think I could handle it for now.

This is still just making the best of a dull career and I"m not sure how I'll feel about doing this in my 50s. I'm wondering if it's possible to either grow a side hussle into something just invest aggressively into Stocks or the Index Fund or something. Could a person realistically grow Dividend Stock holdings enough to live on and basically buy my way out of the work life rat race?
Just move here, you can live in my guesthouse and pay with being my player 2 at night when I'm sneaking away from bed.
 
Could you hook me up with a railroad gig? 😁
Lol you don't want that, I'll probably quit within a month. Good salary, but you'll work holidays, nights and tbh it's not fun.
Prob go back to sales, doesn't seem I deserve to be anything else I'm afraid lol
I could hook you up with a friend of mine that specializes in selling sex toys to woman though.
 
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Cyber security shouldn't be a bad gig - there's a ton of companies that have absolutely no clue what they are doing. There's tons of small businesses out there still running Windows 7 who probably don't even have proper patch management. The large companies all have their own staff, but the small to mid-sized ones often contract out or have nothing at all. You'd think in 2020 that people would take this stuff seriously, but there's lots that have zero clue.

Look around for local companies who do contract support. They might not pay great to start, but you can get a foot in the door. It takes nothing to do these jobs other than a little common sense, google, and a people friendly attitude. So much of the job is just making people not feel stupid (and holding back the laughter because they are stupid).

The big trend in IT right now is agile and what we need is agile project managers. The traditional PMs are struggling to learn the new ways we develop systems. Things like 6 month plans are gone and now we do 2 week sprints. It takes a completely different kind of person to manage all that. It is really a new field and we're pretty much writing the book on it as we go. Not sure how you break into that, but it is definitely the new thing. Even the COD devs are sharing their Trello board with the community for game updates.
 
Lol you don't want that, I'll probably quit within a month. Good salary, but you'll work holidays, nights and tbh it's not fun.
Prob go back to sales, doesn't seem I deserve to be anything else I'm afraid lol
I could hook you up with a friend of mine that specializes in selling sex toys to woman though.

Hooking up when sober or under the influence is still cheating 😉😝
 
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Odd Post / Rant

Short Version: Why does a capable Tech Minded Creative person feel stuck in stupid trucking job?

This year has oddly been a dive into amazing technology for me. I honestly just started messing with A.I art generators kind of out of boredom because my job is so extremely dull driving all day; it makes me crave Creativity. ( I don't mean just making crazy lewd pics either )

Stuff like here, the first being an image from Phantasm that I processed with Midjourney. I also made some ultra insane Trucks

phantasm-iv-cc (1).jpgflux_nomad_None_00dcff38-ab91-4618-a6da-26c487b2248c (2).png

flux_nomad_truck_in_the_picture_in_the_style_of_experimental_ci_31e01a65-ff12-4bb5-94d8-d1f58e...pngflux_nomad_truck_in_the_picture_in_the_style_of_experimental_ci_794be2a3-e299-4b7f-94c6-3128bf...png

Or even this. I'm not some great artist, but Midjourney is like a massive Artistic Hivemind WTF thing and you do need to learn how to give it directions.
1558318781-stephen-zavala-arcee-4-sz (1).jpgflux_nomad_Female_Robot_Sexy_Feminine_No_Hair_Metal_Body_bright_763dbe5f-2aab-4f41-a7a8-21501c...png

I also updated my home VR headset to have Full Body tracking. I've made a few custom VR Chat Avatars and like this on the left and processed my VR selfy in Midjourney




VRChat_2023-11-19_00-30-52.941_1080x1920 (1).pngflux_nomad_tron_2_screenshot_in_the_style_of_dorohedoro_glowing_27249f6c-0c73-4799-827b-17a2cf...png

So.... I'm actually kind of just stunned at the technology I'm seeing in the world and Midjourney Artwork on my screen just blows my mind. I'm regularly just shocked by what Midjourney can do and this processes art far faster than I ever expected.

Also, being a very Tech / Art Minded guy, I'm like why the hell do I still feel stuck working as a Truck Driver? It's so crazy that here I have these amazing tools, but get pulled away to this banal job holding a steering wheel all day. It feels like a massive waste of my time and can so boring.

Oh well, the economy is always messed up, and COVID set everything back, and it's hard to not get stuck in small town America where options become limited. The nearest city to me is Fort Wayne, IN, but not sure how much the cost of living would bump up. But.... maybe there is something I could do online?

I mean, apparently even Art Pages on Facebook can be monetized if you get enough traffic?

I guess at least I'm not a Starving Artist. I feel like I'm my own Patron driving the truck to pay the bills so my Art / Tech self can build skills, get upgrades, and especially do fulfilling creative projects.

But, I would like not be running the roads so much with an inconcistent schedule and such long work hours.

Basically, wanting normal working hours, good income, and normal social life not coming home at 3am =

657d3716-cdf2-4e0e-88cd-c79a6349b47a_text.gif
 
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