You know, I have had a thought. We need:
The Clinton (Hillary version) : For when someone posts something extremely long, with great detail taken, that almost completely doesn't say anything at all like what it purports to be said, but stretches technicalities far enough that it's not technically false.
The Clinton (Bill version) : The "I gotta get me some of that" (you are hearing that in his voice as you read it, or you're doing it wrong). E.g., the Scorpio.
The Trump : For when someone says something that sounds really good, despite the fact that it's based almost exclusively on easily-verifiable mistruths. The "sounds really good" part is optional.
The Bernie: For when someone makes a really solid point, that unfortunately is arguing something that is well and truly relegated to the past (e.g., 360 v. PS3 sales).
The Cruz : A milder version of the Trump, where the wrongness and the creepiness isn't quite as offputting, but you still think: "With you? Eww. I would rather give birth to a chair."
The Carson: This is a case where someone starts off on a point they consider to be valid, but sometimes... oh, I'll have to explain it later, I need to find my luggage.
(I'll spare everyone the description of The Palin. I have some decency.)