Got my first roadkill tonight
- Thread starter Jarrod
- Start date
I've taken out more rabbits than I'd care to count.
Hit a massive hare once and that was pretty gross.
All tasted delicious though.
Hit a massive hare once and that was pretty gross.
All tasted delicious though.
You showed him who is BAWSE.
If that didn't teach an animal witnessing it not to play on the road then i don't know what will.
If that didn't teach an animal witnessing it not to play on the road then i don't know what will.
I feel like a hypocrite for saying that I would much rather run over a deer than a racoon or bunny. It really isn't fair objectively, but I really *do* seem to rate animals higher that I have an emotional connection with, or alternatively, make for amusing gifs.
There was this kinda crazy chick who lived in my last apartment complex (small 6 unit place.) She wasn't old and crazy, but in her late 30's maybe and pretty hot, giant boobs (unnecessary info for the story, but sets the scene.)
I come home from work one day and she's doing some yard work (the landlord gave her and her boyfriend a break on rent, she did the yard stuff and he did small repairs) and she's complaining to me about how one of the neighbors told her he was planning on shooting a troublesome raccoon that had been getting into crap (this was like almost downtown Seattle, very urban.)
I stared at her rack and smiled and nodded she rambled on about how harmless racoons are and how bleeding heart she was for them and I just said "They actually are really dangerous." I went back to my apartment and had a beer on my deck and watched her cut the bushes in her low cut shirt that I imagined she wore for my pleasure, occasionally raising my bottle to her and giving her a friendly "Yeah I'd f*** you" smirk. (again, unnecessary details but I like scene setting.)
Next day I come home from work and she's standing outside with blood all over her pants. The 'coon had apparently been trying to claw through her screen door to get to her cats.. and she had the bright idea to try to physically "shoo" it by giving it a friendly pat on the butt and it mauled her arm pretty good. I was like "let's get you out of those wet pants".. I mean, no ... I think I said "you need a ride to the hospital?" and she said she wasn't even gonna go to the doctor.
I think she went rabid. Next day I come home from work she's standing in the middle of the road yelling at every car that drives by "SLOW DOWN!" and that night when her boyfriend came home from work she was screaming at him and throwing his s*** in the street.. lol..
Never saw her again.. just saw a moving truck that weekend and my fair lady was gone..
I come home from work one day and she's doing some yard work (the landlord gave her and her boyfriend a break on rent, she did the yard stuff and he did small repairs) and she's complaining to me about how one of the neighbors told her he was planning on shooting a troublesome raccoon that had been getting into crap (this was like almost downtown Seattle, very urban.)
I stared at her rack and smiled and nodded she rambled on about how harmless racoons are and how bleeding heart she was for them and I just said "They actually are really dangerous." I went back to my apartment and had a beer on my deck and watched her cut the bushes in her low cut shirt that I imagined she wore for my pleasure, occasionally raising my bottle to her and giving her a friendly "Yeah I'd f*** you" smirk. (again, unnecessary details but I like scene setting.)
Next day I come home from work and she's standing outside with blood all over her pants. The 'coon had apparently been trying to claw through her screen door to get to her cats.. and she had the bright idea to try to physically "shoo" it by giving it a friendly pat on the butt and it mauled her arm pretty good. I was like "let's get you out of those wet pants".. I mean, no ... I think I said "you need a ride to the hospital?" and she said she wasn't even gonna go to the doctor.
I think she went rabid. Next day I come home from work she's standing in the middle of the road yelling at every car that drives by "SLOW DOWN!" and that night when her boyfriend came home from work she was screaming at him and throwing his s*** in the street.. lol..
Never saw her again.. just saw a moving truck that weekend and my fair lady was gone..
tl;dnr
........okay i actually did read it and imagined i was motor boating a raccoon
From a scale from 1 to dolly parton, how big was her boobs? are we talking own gravitational pole here?
I like me some boobies.
My gf is 5'3", size 8/10, 28F.
I would take some pics but she's buried in the garden somewhere..whinge whinge whinge...it's all she ever does.
Well..did.
My gf is 5'3", size 8/10, 28F.
I would take some pics but she's buried in the garden somewhere..whinge whinge whinge...it's all she ever does.
Well..did.
I normally brake for animals in the road, but I'd probably not bother if it were a raccoon.
As a kid we were told to stay away from them if you saw them during the daytime because they could be rabid. Not sure if that's true, but they were aggressive if you came near them. F them.
As a kid we were told to stay away from them if you saw them during the daytime because they could be rabid. Not sure if that's true, but they were aggressive if you came near them. F them.
I hit a deer with an 18 Wheeler. Damn thing exploded across the drive axle and trailer landing gear. Fortunately, it was rainy weather and most of that s*** washed off.
Still felt conspicuous with blood spray on my semi trailer.
/epic road kill
Still felt conspicuous with blood spray on my semi trailer.
/epic road kill
I hit a pitt bull dog in my Chrysler 300 on my way to work one night on the highway just ran out in front of me did not see it. F***ed my front end all up.
I took out a sparrow once. It was one of those birds that tries to pass in front of your car at the last second. I heard a thump, then looked in the rear-view and saw it on the ground with feathers floating in the air around it.
I felt bad.
I felt bad.
